Geek Chic Week of August 29,2010

DVD/BLU-RAY

Evil Dead

I like Bruce Campbell (and his chin) I am not a personal fan of Sam Raimi (though he does have some bright spots on his relatively unimpressive resume.) I don’t understand the continuing love or allure of this particular film (I don’t really see the enduring value of almost any horror franchise, truth be told.) Evil Dead II is mediocre with Army of Darkness being the only entry that I really enjoyed. I also don’t understand the fascination with Raimi’s Spider-Man films. I’m perplexed with Roger Ebert claiming it to be the best super-hero film since the modern genre was launched with Superman: The Movie in 1978. Any nerd worth his stuff knows that it’s either X2 or Dark Knight, not Spider-Man 2. And I felt this way before looking at it in retrospect knowing that this man would be responsible for Spider-Man 3 (setting a low bar even further) Willem Defoe is an excellent performer, but his “Power Ranger” influenced performance in the first is laughable. Alfred Molina is one of the only redeeming pieces of the series. That and J K Simmons performance as J J Jameson. I could have watch 2 hrs of that man. Tobey MacGuire’s Spider-Man seems a little one not for my tastes and Kirsten Dunst is not a super model by any stretch. Bruce Campbell should really have had his shot at Mysterio in the 4th. I get the feeling that Raimi was simply tired of the entire Spider-Man endeavor (mirroring my feeling with his body of work on the series.) I know I’m in the minority, but it’s a place I find myself oftentimes. My personal favorite Raimi film is For Love of the Game. People love to hate on Kostner, but I’ve watched this film more than a supposedly masculine male should. (Maybe I should rethink my own self perception.) David Fincher? James Cameron? These are men I could get behind bringing Spidey or even some Evil Dead to life. (Seriously think of Army of Darkness in the hands of those two. My blood is curtailing, in a good way.) at one point in his career, I couldn’t stand Leonardo DiCaprio. Now I’m pretty sure I have a man crush on him. Raimi may change my mind at some point in his career. At this point though, I have no reason to feel otherwise. And like a good elderly man, I refuse to feel differently, regardless of the argument that I hear. Now get off my lawn.

90210 Season 2

And not the high quality, crappy series from the 90s. I’ll be honest they’ve already made it roughly 1.99 seasons longer than I thought they would. But if Jersey Shore can “entertain”  then I suppose this can as well.

Harry Brown

I once knew a turd by the same name.

Marmaduke

Garfield. Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties. The Flintstones.  The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakwal.(I don’t know if I spelled that correctly, but since it isn’t a real word, I don’t care.) Mr.Magoo. (please stop robbing Leslie Neilson of his dignity, that particular account is almost bankrupt) Inspector Gadget (please see Magoo but replace Leslie Neilson with Ferris Bueller.) Dragon Ball Z: Evolution. Dudley Do Right. What do all of these films have in common? All live action films based on cartoons? Wrong. They suck a$$. (well technically you were right if you guessed A but that isn’t were I was headed with it.) Ineptly directed by Thomas Ridgeway Dey, it seems to set the talking animal/cartoon-to-live action/comic (not book)adaptation bar that was already set severely low. The film opened 6th (a number that no studio besides independents find acceptable to be in opening weekend.) against some of the most marginally entertaining sequels and flaccid video game adaptation weekends in recent memory.(Sex and the Lack of City 2, Shrek Snoreever After, and Prince of Persia: Sands of Zzzzz….) So the film underperformed on a weekend that was already full of underperformers. That’s like being the slow kid in the race when the other people can barely walk. Have you ever been beaten by a elderly man or a small child? Then now you know roughly what the studio that financed this turd felt like. And considering that the studio doesn’t actually get all of the 62 million dollars that this film squeaked its way to making, they also likely lost some money on this turd as well. As well, when Owen Wilson and George Lopez are you names above the title, you are in a bad place. The film was universally panned (did you expect anything different?) The film only managed to make 30 million in the domestic arena (I know newspapers that make more money, and I don’t know that periodicals have made money in years.) As far as interesting stories of movies that ended up terrible goes, the Flinstones were initially going to be directed by Richard Donner (he of Superman: The Movie and Lethal Weapon fame) to be starring John Belushi as Fred. That is a film I would have been interested in seeing. Donner’s work legitimizing the world of comic books can still be felt in the world today. Maybe if he had made his Flinstones, we would see a vastly different landscape today in terms of animation to live action adaptation. Or it could have sucked. Who knows? And it isn’t like most of these aren’t hugely successful. Alvin and the Chipmunks was a gigantic hit and Flinstones had made enough money to get a sequel (prequel technically) made almost 6 years after the original. The Flinstones has also been in NetFlix Top 100 since its inception. (That’s just an odd fact) as most of these articles tend to end, as long as these keep making money, they will be made. Marmaduke is the exception at the moment and not the rule, at least at the current moment. I won’t be watching this film as the preview for Beverly Hills Chiuaua made me want to slay unicorns and happiness and I imagine that this film would do roughly the same.

Video Games

Castlevania Part II (2nd part of the article, not Simon’s Quest)

I’ve mentioned some of the more memorable moments and installments of the series in the previous set of articles, though not all. I didn’t really get to mention the less impressive installments. Castlevania: Resurrection is probably the most notorious of these titles. It was planned for release on the ill fated Sega Dreamcast. It suffered numerous and ultimately fatal delays, that ended in its eventual cancellation after the announcement that the Dreamcast itself was going under. It was to be the third installment to be done in 3-D (a blood chilling omen in and of itself) following in the impotent footsteps of Castlevania 64 and Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness (essentially Castlevania 64 2) two of the worst entries into the series, having never actually played Resurrection I can only suppose it would have followed in their poorly made footsteps. It was never released in the States, or anywhere else for that matter. I have included some of the footage and information found online below. The game was heavily censored in the here and in Europe (as tended to be the case for Castlevania games at the time.) but then again the name of the game was BLOODlines, so one expects.  I didn’t dislike the game, but much like the lone Contra entry on the Genesis, I also didn’t find it especially memorable. The Genesis also had its own Mega Man game, that as I recall was just a compilation of older Mega Man games. Seems like the name is Wily Wars. Yes, I know I’m on my computer and that I could just click the window that is literally inches away from where I am typing these very words right now but…its all the way over there and all. If the Genesis had possibly had more input, these games may have been more memorable. The Sonic titles, Toe Jam and Earl and the Shining Force Games are proof positive that the Genesis is capable of having exclusive games that were actually worth playing. Of course these games all had multiple entries on the Genesis. The X-Men games on the Genesis were also excellent. Multiple entries. Maybe that was the problem. I ran into the same issue with the PS2 Castlevania games. Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness weren’t terrible games either. They just didn’t set the standard. Most of the game reviews mirrored or echoed some of the same sentiments. I know I’m partial to the Metroid influenced titles (Judgment isn’t even worth mentioning more than this sentence. Though I’ll probably go into detail anyways) the adventure titles are fun, I always just find them to feel repetitive. (besides the first and third) Castlevania and Castlevania III are really the only adventure entries that I played, and legitimately enjoyed. The only time ive just stopped playing a Castlevania title was Judgment. It missed the fighting game craze by roughly 14 or 15 years and it uses a lot of beloved characters and just kind of slanders there names. Its kind of like when you see the Muppets working as corporate shills now that Disney owns them. Maybe im wrong, but I don’t ever remember them pimping for Pizza Hut when Jim Henson was in control. One reviewer mention that it “Bastardized Castlevania” . Essentially, if you are going to invoke Simon, you better have a good reason. People that don’t know anything about the series can usually identify, or at least name Simon. So please, if you will Konami, don’t bastardize Simon. Unless you are Quentin Tarintino, being a bastard is traditionally seen as being a bad thing. I’ve dwelt a little much on the negative today, especially for a franchise that is predominantly beloved, both by me and other fans. We are going to take one more journey to Dracula’s castle next week and cover whatever else is left as well as the largely quality handheld versions of the game.

A game so terrible it was never released. Sometimes you have to put Old Yeller down. (No offense to the late Old Yeller, the best dogone dog in the west.)

Castlevania : Resurrection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83bdT2dw-bk  

Comic Books

2099

If you were alive during the 90s (and were into comic books) you likely remember this line of books. If you don’t, think something along the lines of the Ultimate Universe, but not as awesome and chocked full of BMB and Mark Millar (though Millar apparently pitched a plot for it…and was turned down. He’s certainly not used to that these days.) if you are unaware, the 2099 universe featured futuristic versions, largely unrelated, in most cases, to their then, modern day counter parts. Spider-Man, Punisher and Doom were the first to be given titles in the future. Ravage 2099 was added later. He was an original creation sheparded initially by Stan Lee. I’m sure this actually sounded good at the time. Except that it isn’t the 1960s and Stan Lee still writes the exact same way. Think of how proud your parents were when you started to crawl. They were overjoyed. They simply could not have been prouder. Now think to the last time that you crawled. They were likely not as excited. You have moved on to talking and walking. Possibly you have your own family now. Maybe you can even drive a car or have a job of your own and function independently of your parents. Maybe you even play and instrument. You’ve grown is what I’m getting at here. Stan has not. You don’t need a time machine to see what it would be like if Stan Lee wrote modern creations. When he did the Imagine Stan Lee taking a hot and steaming one on your childhood and creates the DC Universe (I think that’s the actual title, though my fact checker is on vacation.) later series followed with even less notoriety. Hulk, The X-Men, Ghost Rider, the Fantastic Four and a spin-off of X-Men 2099, X-Nation (because no sect of the Marvel universe is complete without at least 17 X-Men or X-Men related titles.) were also launched. The series survived long enough to have one cross title crossover in the form of Fall of the Hammer, in which the ruling bodies of the age decided to clone and otherwise bastardise the Norse pantheon. Because that won’t piss them off or anything. Civil War had a Thor clone. Thor didn’t care for that. and much like the Nazis opening the arc of the covenant (because the people choosing to systematically slaughter God’s chosen people should definitely use things that have a direct link to the lord our savior and think that something isn’t going to go wrong.) things ended poorly for them.  Eventually all of the titles where cancelled and amalgamated into a single title called 2099: World of Tomorrow, that showed the continuing adventures of the characters that hadn’t been killed or taken out of continuity. The series was given a send off in a more proper sense with a one-shot in 1998 called Manifest Destiny. It seems somewhat odd to me that they would choose a 19th century American belief that the United States was destined to expand across the North American continent as a way to wrap up the series but they say the past repeats itself. (Note: for anyone stupid enough to believe what I said, they only used the name. the actual finale used cowboy robots.) The 2099 universe ends up doing what the present day Marvel universe has been either unable or unwilling to do and creates a utopia, destroying villainy and greed (kind of like the Star Trek universe) and decides to expand into space, supposedly to spread there message of peace and goodwill. In a brilliant move on the writers and creators part, Doom 2099 is revealed to be Doom 1993 as well. Which makes sense. Can you really see Doom ever letting anyone ever fill his shoes, or assume that one could. Dude is so harsh in the Mark Millar run on the book, he goes back in time to train his younger self and ends up almost killing him because he failed to stop the Fantastic Four. I know that a lot of people are their own harshest critic, but Doom, switch to decalf or something. I would love to see Doom at one of those self motivation conferences. (Either in the crowd or presenting on the stage.) Marvel has had a varying degree of success with alternate universes. The Ultimate line likely, the most recent, also being the most successful and longest running (occasionally even eclipsing it’s Marvel U proper at several points. MC2 was also a shot at alternate tales of futuristic versions of Marvels most popular characters and villains. (again the Spider title, Spider-Girl, being the most popular and longest running.) in a closing piece, I think that the 2099 line was ultimately hurt by some financially motivated decisions made at Marvel during its run. The firing of Editor Cavalieri led to both Peter David and Warren Ellis leaving the line. The two of them represented what was the equivalent of BMB and Millar leaving the Ultimate U together, near its beginning point. More or less leading to the titles that weren’t floundering to joining their underperforming brothers. The Marvel U has continued without this imprint quite well in the years since but with a couple of well placed writers and eraser of some poorly made decisions, Marvel could be  looking at 2 successful spin off lines, instead of just one. I guess we’ll never know. (Unless Reed Richards invents a way in his spare time, of course.)